Feature Stories

Volume 24 Number 1
January/February 2008

What's a Nice Jewish Girl Like Me Doing in a Messianic Shul?

by Jan Folb

    It all began back in the Bronx, NY. Throughout elementary school my family belonged to a small, Orthodox synagogue which we frequented only on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. At home, we kept kosher, no meat with dairy, and even to this day I'm not a big fan of cheeseburgers and I like my pizzas veggie style. We enjoyed the celebration of all eight days of Hanukkah and double seders on Pesach. In fact, the only part of the Old Testament that I was familiar with was Exodus, since the Haggadah was used annually to tell the story of our freedom from slavery over and over again. In fact, the remainder of the Bible was a complete mystery to me. We lived in a multi- cultural neighborhood where everyone was aware of the major Jewish holidays, especially since school was closed on the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and Christmas and Hanukkah often overlapped quite nicely. I went to several Bar Mitzvahs but no Bat Mitzvahs since it was traditional for boys to be learned in Hebrew and study Torah but for girls it was often a matter of choice. I remember distinctly that I very much wanted to have dance lessons as well as attend Hebrew school with my male cousins. My mom gave me a choice of only one and, naturally, I chose dance lessons which seemed more fun throughout elementary school—there was ballet, tap, modern, and jazz. Later in middle and high school I enjoyed all kinds of dance, including Israeli folk dancing.  Consequently, I still had no religious training in Judaism throughout my youth. 

At 19, I had moved out on my own, finished my last 2 years of college with a BA in Psychology, and at 21 I decided to move to California on my own. I was a very independent, free-spirited young woman, and with a lot of confidence and $200 in my pocket I started my adult life in San Francisco.   I met my first husband, a non-practicing Catholic, married him at 25, and had my eldest son, Jesse, when I was 27. It wasn't until then that I started thinking about my Jewish heritage again. Naturally, I wanted to raise my son as a Jew, but living in California was quite different than my experience in New York, where Jewish culture was part of the mainstream and all around me. If I wanted my son to identify with being a Jew I was going to have to make a concerted effort to teach him that. We set up a Jewish home, Jesse went to a Jewish preschool and so it began. Unfortunately, that marriage ended and several years later I met Michael, fell in love and married. Michael is also Jewish, and for the next decade we basically repeated my own childhood experience of Judaism, minus the kosher kitchen. We had our first son together, Gabriel, and the four of us belonged to a reform Jewish synagogue in Oakland and then also when we moved to Solana Beach. Again, we went to the high holiday services on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Jesse continued with his studies and became a Bar Mitzvah as did Gabe later.  In 2001, I even followed suite by becoming a Bnai Mitzvah with 50 other adults.  Once again, our temple experience faded off yet the spiritual search for something deeper was still in my heart.
   

It was about this time that Michael mentioned a Rabbi Barney to me. They had met one day while he was surfing and Michael mentioned that this Barney happened to be a "Messianic" Jewish rabbi. I asked Michael what the heck a Messianic rabbi was and he briefly told me that he was a Jew that believes that Yeshua/Jesus is the promised Messiah. I promptly gave my opinion about that nonsense, which my husband promptly agreed with and he told me that he was adamant with Barney about leaving Jesus out of their discussions as well. As you can see we were off to a great start on our way to becoming Messianic Jews!
   

During this time period I was quite busy in my own world of work, traveling quite a bit, and, as a result, becoming more disconnected from the family than I liked. I was the head educator for a skin care company, and it seemed the more responsibility I took on the more they were willing to pile on. This treadmill added to a feeling of emptiness in my overall life.  On several occasions Michael mentioned coming to Kehilat Ariel for a Shabbat service which I always had some believable excuse for not attending.  However, I acquiesced and that day was a turning point in my Jewish life. From the very first service, KA felt like home to me. There was music and dance that accompanied the service, and it was a Torah service, which felt very familiar and comfortable.  What impacted me the most was how alive and full of heart I felt and  everyone I met was warm and open as well. I felt completely welcomed and when I left I actually looked forward to coming back.
   

There was just one small complicating detail—how was I going to come to terms with this Yeshua… who are we kidding, we're talking about Jesus Christ! I've prayed to God in the past, why all of a sudden does God need a middleman to complicate things. Everything seemed so right, so real, except a Jewish girl believing that Yeshua is the promised Jewish messiah was a bit more than I could accept.   The next few services I attended I pretended. Every time I said "Lord" I meant God—not Yeshua. Who would know? I met some people I actually thought could become friends, attended some social functions, and I decided to attend a Women's Regional Conference to learn a bit more. It was a nonstop weekend filled with love, worship, fellowship, music and dance. From that moment forward I decided I would be as open as possible to learning about Jewish history, the Bible and just where and how Yeshua fit into the whole scheme of things.
   

The final revelation came to me, ironically, when the Dance Group Coordinator Ruth invited me to participate with the dance at a local church service. Rabbi Barney was doing a mock Seder to educate those believers about the Jewish details of the meal.  OK, so it was a church—but it was a Seder, something I've always enjoyed and participated in since childhood. As I sat and listened I learned more about this original Jewish rabbi, Yeshua, his twelve Jewish disciples, and the Last "Passover" Supper. The complete ceremonial plate with its bitters, lamb shank, haroset etc., and 4 cups of wine were all there but with enhanced meaning and there definitely were some missing puzzle pieces. In this time of Redemption it was Messiah who was God's appointed sacrificial lamb. The middle matzah also took on a new meaning symbolizing the resurrection and return of Messiah. I found myself in tears and it all became very clear to me in an instant. After all the months of deliberation, I sat there, on April Fool's Day, in the Calvary Church,of all places ….finally understood that Yeshua was exactly who he said he was -- our promised Jewish Messiah. It seems I've come full circle in my journey. Yet, I'm at the very beginning of a long search for continued knowledge and understanding, and I can't think of a synagogue I'd rather be a member of than Kehilat Ariel.

Last Updated ( Thursday, 07 February 2008 )